The most beautiful moments and letting go of things

I hope all of you had a good summer. It feels weird to say this when there is so much stuff going on in the world, but I have to start this blog entry somewhere.

My summer break was a time of reflection, acceptance and change for me. In the past few months, I’ve let go of a lot of material and non-material things, and I’ve had to deal with a lot of (not always pleasant) things. But I guess that’s just how life is sometimes.

I don’t want to make this an overly heavy post, so I’ll also write about the positive changes all of this brought to me. This will also be reflected in the blog, including how my posts will look as a newsletter from now on!

Over the last few months I realized I’ve accumulated (again) a lot of things that don’t necessarily make my life better or easier, and I started to declutter and focus on what I really need. What really helped me to focus was that I also had to declutter the entire material possessions of someone else for the last time, after my grandma died in spring. And while this was a sad occasion, it has also been a good process to go through – if that makes any sense.

I saw the few things that my grandma owned that she used on a regular basis (basically her knitting gear, a few decks of cards, some clothes, and medical care things), and what had accumulated in my parents’ house where she lived over the last few decades. My grandma, as well as my parents, are from a generation that doesn’t throw a lot of things away. Maybe because they might be useful again, or just because they “still look good”, or because they never thought of it. Also because in their formative years a lot of things were actually expensive and not as affordable. But over time, those things lose their meaning or their use, they get replaced and simply stand in the way, collecting dust and taking up space.
Over the summer I helped my parents declutter their entire house, not only from my grandma’s things, but also their own forgotten possessions. I would have gone even further in some areas, but of course I respected that everyone has their own tempo for these processes. I also did a lot of repair work that had accumulated around the house.

And each time I came back to my own flat, as tired and burnt out as I felt from the visits at home, I felt the need to go through my own things and habits with a very critical eye. Since I have done this a few times, there wasn’t much left except the cellar (full of cardboard boxes and unused kitchen stuff) and my art supplies. I sold many supplies and appliances, and I feel good about the new-found space and less material clutter that I don’t really need. It also feels good to give unused things to people who can make better use of them instead of just throwing them away.
And this is maybe the essence of our times. We have so many things, we can buy new stuff with such ease, we don’t even think about what our consumption habits do to ourselves and to others. Because we’ve learned that there’s an endless stream of new products, entertainment, food, clothes whenever we think we need something. The planet is falling apart under this load. We can’t afford not to think about our habits any more.

And while I was reflecting on all of this (and feeling a bit helpless about the overall state of the world), I kept thinking about the direction this blog and my Youtube channel could potentially take, and if I really want that. For example:

• I get a lot of emails from companies wanting me to review their products. Sometimes these are mildly interesting, but very often I wouldn’t buy them myself. I have more than enough painting supplies. Companies are prepared to ship their products all around the globe just to get a review, or to get new affiliates for their products. I want this blog and my channel to stay ad-free and independent, and I’m usually not interested in these products. I buy all my art supplies myself and very, very rarely take free (sponsored) materials from companies.
• Speaking about ads: I’ve noticed that Youtube puts ads in front of videos even if they’re not monetized – so everyone who watches unmonetized videos is still forced to watch ads, and if I don’t monetize the channel myself, Youtube will simply take all the money from those ad views. I don’t like this at all, but it seems there is not much I can do about it.
  What you can do to see less or no ads is use browser plugins that hide them (DF Youtube works great for me). I don’t get a lot of money from my small Youtube channel, so I’m encouraging everyone who tries to find a way to circumvent these ads. I’ve actually thought about stopping the videos altogether, but as a compromise I’ll probably do less of them. Maybe I will try out a different format like Patreon for regular or more in-depth videos without advertisements, but I still want to offer free videos to everyone.
• I don’t like or understand the common trend in the online art sphere of doing art hauls, hoarding art supplies, and showing and comparing your collection, or reviewing individual paints without actually painting anything, as if building that collection was a goal in itself. It isn’t. It’s just consumption just in order to feel good for a moment. It’s just hoarding products you won’t use, which is a shame, because they all need valuable resources to be made. Hauls and showing your hoarding habit seems to me a particularly weird aspect of our overconsumption. Most professional, good-quality paints and papers and brushes are not that different, at least for the purpose most people are using them for, and most quality products get the job done very well. Yes, collecting paints that look like candy is fun, but using them to paint and actually forming connections over that (to a landscape, to people, to a bird, to any subject really) is more fulfilling. Sharing supplies with your friend or giving your paints to someone who uses them is more fulfilling, I promise. I will not buy paint anymore just for the sake of “trying out new paint”, and I will try and keep my curiosity about new materials to a minimum. At least until I run out of supplies. New supplies don’t always end up being useful, and then they stand around and collect dust. I’ve seen this from my various rounds of art supply decluttering (and at least I always found people who were very happy that I sold them my supplies).
• A smaller step I’ve taken to minimalize the blog is to change my email newsletter provider. You’ll now be getting the emails directly from Gumroad, who are the people who also host my online classes. This post is the first one to be sent out in the new format. This means I will not copy the entire blog post into the emails I send, but you’ll just get notifications about new posts and will have to click once to get to the post here on my website (you’ve probably done this already if you’re on my newsletter and wanted to read this post). It takes a lot of time to format these blog posts with a lot of images on two different systems, and a lot of people have read the web version in the past anyway. It’ll also mean a less cluttered inbox for you. All of the posts will of course be available in my blog archive to read at any time.

All in all, I’m still thinking about a lot of the ongoing changes and how I can make them work best for me (and for you as readers), and I feel the need to take everything slow. I haven’t painted a lot over the summer because of time constraints, so I hope a bit of energy for that will return in autumn. I’m in the middle of a freelance project that’s taking up a lot of energy, and somehow I thought I was already burnt out in spring, but it seems that’s not an option right now. I feel I need more time for my health and overall well-being, and I still want to bring you interesting sketches and art tutoring.
At least I find that less clutter and stuff to manage allows me to be calmer and find clear thoughts. I always feel the best when I’m outside, watching nature, or gardening, or hiking – simple activities. I wish I had more time for sketching (aside from job drawing duties), but I’m sure that will return.

What I want to leave you with is the thought that maybe we don’t need all of these new things that we could buy. Protect yourself from consuming. It won’t make anything better. The most beautiful moments are when you connect with people and share moments together, or when you experience the world around you – nature, wildlife, the reflection of the sun on a building. None of this can be experienced by buying stuff. Be happy with what you have, concentrate on the things that truly matter to you, and don’t let yourself be distracted by consuming things. It’s like a trap that’s designed for us to fall into again and again. Spend less time on the internet and on social media. You won’t miss anything. Go into nature, observe it closely, take it all in.

Use the things you already have, choose wisely what you want to let into your life. As I saw in my parents’ house, everything you buy you will have to manage, care for, and get rid of in the end. All of this costs resources, money, time and energy. Things don’t make you happy. You are responsible for everything you buy (Among the stuff they had kept were things that I had bought as a teenager in the 90s..my responsibility).
We are presented with so many options to bring new things into our life everywhere, all the time. But you don’t need to buy new things, you need connections to people that are important to you. And you need a good connection to yourself – to make sense of the world, and to get through difficult times. Make sure you stay healthy – it’s one of the most important things and something we simply take for granted until it’s gone. And you need a connection to the world around you, to people, to nature. You won’t find this by buying stuff. Talk to the most important people to you. Talk to your family. Give them a call instead of leaving a like on social media. Go for a walk with them if you can. And protect yourself from consuming.

I hope my changes to the blog make sense to you and aren’t a huge inconvenience, and I hope you can understand if I take things a bit slower, or minimalize a few aspects here and there. This year’s summer intermission was very interesting and defining for me. Starting next week we’ll be back to art topics!